Chanty

Dear November~ You’re always so special. Birthday. Mine. Thanksgiving. Food. Family. Autumn leaves. The colors. This year, you’ll be extra special. I hope. I have love waiting for me there. A love I thought I didn’t deserve. Deployed, but returning. Finally. A new start. A new meaning to November. A new addition to all the great things you are. November, you’re always what I need you to be. Going above and beyond the call of duty. I can’t wait to meet you again. Or for the first time. 

The summer after the ninth grade... I was given a long list of books to choose for my AP World History class. We had to pick three books and then write a well thought out essay about them. Even though I considered myself someone who like to read, I immediately felt defeated by the list of thirty or so books that I had never heard of before. I am sure I wanted to find the book with the least amount of pages, like any fourteen year old who wanted to spend her summer doing nothing. At that time, using the internet was becoming a "thing", but with Google not yet being invented, we still relied on hard research to find information. Plus, we had dial-up internet so going through the hassle of looking up a synopsis of a book was just too time consuming. Time was running out and I had to choose. I finally decided on two books, thinking that two books would certainly be enough because in my adolescent brain, my World History teacher wasn't going to read our papers anyway. Of...

“Foster Them and They Will Also Foster You.” My Koko is eighty years old. She is a short lady who  moves much slower these days, but does not skip a beat. She wakes up at the same time every morning, slowly gets down on her knees and prays, gets up and takes a tour around the house with her hands clasped behind her back inspecting every corner of the house. She opens all the curtains and blinds and if its Thursday, she grabs her oversized, wool sweater, slides her flip flops over her socks, and goes out the back door to take the overflowing trash can down to the curb. She comes back inside and sits in her chair behind the couch and stares at the TV. She does not understand anything that is going on as she cannot speak English. As everyone else hustles and bustles around trying to get out the door to start there work day, she sits and stares back and forth, sometimes smiling, sometimes not. Koko does not eat breakfast before her bath. Never. However, before she does, she toast...

BACK IN THE USA Yes, yes, yes   its been quite a long time since I lasted posted anything about anything. Long story short, I left the ROK. I had an amazing job with a private elementary school, I was making a lot of money, but I just wasn’t feeling it anymore. I’m a woman and I am allowed to change my mind. I bowed out gracefully and returned home earlier this year. I was so scared. I was leaving the security that Korea had provided me for 3 ½ years. I was breaking out of the bubble and it scared me. But, I have grown in my faith and I took a leap, just like I did when I went to Korea. I had applied and interviewed for a few positions, but when I arrived, nothing was set in stone. Naturally, I started really freaking out.  I had my savings, but as you American know, your savings can go very fast. I had to get a car, I had to buy insurance for that car, I had to move, I had to pay bills, which in Korea was not an issue. I rode the bus and subway in Korea which cost me ...

As I write this  my heart cannot keep up with all of the thoughts running through my head. The last week and a half has been one of the worse for me and my family. The closes person who had passed away i my life had been my grandpa in 2014. I was living in Korea, thousands of miles away from my family. He was 80 years old and had been sick for some time. The doctors told us that he would be a vegetable and would need 24 hour care, so I prayed that God would take him. He had been through so much in his life including working for a colonial government, seeing his county gain independence,  travel the world, live in a glorious time of hope, and then see it all stripped away. I wanted him to go and rest for eternity. Of course, I was sad because we had grown so close. We talked all the time and then he was gone. However, I found comfort in him being in a better place. The second person, who I was close to who passed away was my 8th grade homeroom teacher. She was like a second mo...

I was watching Oprah's Super Soul Sunday and her guest for that episode was Dr. Phil. I used to be a huge Dr. Phil fan, but then I realized, I wasn't, so I haven't watched his show in years. However, when Oprah believes in you...there must be something there. They began talking about relationships and why most of them don't work out or fail. One of the things they talked about was the expectations we put on other people and how when that person does not do what we think they are supposed to do, we get angry and that anger  does nothing to that person, but it hurts us. I am guilty of this and I am working on it. Not for anything else, except as I get older, the more I realize that I cannot control how someone feels about me or someone treats me. I can only control myself. If someone is treating me poorly or not giving me what I need, no amount of love, love making, and home cooked meals, will make them be what I want them to be. I can bribe, coax, and send as many heart ...